


So What

by cheerstar051



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Rockstar AU, niall and harry are both rockstars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:37:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheerstar051/pseuds/cheerstar051
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall and Harry are rock stars that have dated and broken up. Niall writes a song about their breakup. Harry hates it, but Niall is indifferent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So What

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank the lovely Jean (arie-172) on tumblr for this amazing prompt. This is for her. You should also follow her tumblr because her writing is AMAZING. Originally posted on my tumblr (toystoran). 
> 
> The song is Pink’s ‘So What’. I obviously know Niall didn’t write it, but this is an au, so let’s pretend he did. :)

“That was Niall Horan with his new number one hit ‘So What.’ The singer reportedly wrote it about his ex Har-“

Harry cut off the radio before letting the radio host finish speaking. He was tired of hearing about Niall’s new ‘number one hit’. The song was rubbish. It was absolute bullshit in his opinion. In the song Niall claimed he was better off without Harry. It was all one big lie. At least, that’s what Harry wanted himself to believe. He and Niall may be over, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to call him to give him a piece of his mind.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“What do you want Harry?”  
“What the fuck Niall!?”  
“What’d I do this time?”  
“Your new ‘number one hit’ is what.”  
“What? You don’t like it?”  
“Of course I don’t like it! Why would I?”  
“Well, I thought it had a catchy beat.”  
“You know that song is utter bullshit Niall.”  
“What the hell are you talking about Harry? That song is probably the most honest song I’ve ever written.”  
“So, you’re saying you’re better off without me? That you’re so much happier that I’m out of your life?”  
“Yes.”  
“Oh.”  
There was a short pause before Harry spoke again.   
“If you really feel that way, then fine. Goodbye Niall.”  
“Harry-“  
Harry hung up before Niall could finish whatever he was saying. He was upset, and there was no way he could stay on the phone without breaking down. To say he was hurt would be an understatement.

Niall sat on the other end of line with his phone still in his hand. Harry had sounded hurt. Niall hadn’t intended to hurt Harry’s feelings; he just wanted to prove that he didn’t need to depend on him. Which was probably a lie, but it was easier to hide his feelings by writing a song fresh after the break up. In all honestly, he wasn’t fine at all. The breakup had ended badly. He and Harry had been getting into argument a lot in the past few months, and the last one they had, had ended it. Niall was heartbroken. Harry had been the only person he had ever been in love with. Now, he just wanted to lie down and cry. So he did. He liked the song at first. It made him feel better. But now, he wasn’t so sure. Knowing it hurt Harry, hurt him, and he never wanted to hurt Harry. Even if they weren’t together anymore, he still cared about him. More than he probably should.

It had been two weeks and So What was still number one on the charts. It was always on the radio, so Harry opted for just listening to CD’s whenever he went out. The media wasn’t letting it go either. They’d had a field day when Niall and Harry broke it off, and when Niall released the song, it just got worse. Both Niall and Harry both had numerous offers for interviews. They were constantly stopped while they were out. Whether it was the paparazzi or a fan, they never got a rest. It was hectic and tiring. Everyone wanted the juicy gossip. It was almost impossible to go out, especially if either were spotted with someone they hadn’t been seen with before. Even though all the people they hung out with were just friends. Even their families were getting harassed. So much so, they had to use disguises to go out to somewhere as simple as the grocery store. It was honestly ridiculous. It was hard to tell who was feeling worse about it all. Not only were their friends and family being harassed, but so were they. It was only worse with a broken heart.

Harry was dealing with the pressure of being the person the song was about. He was broken, but the media didn’t care. On one hand, they felt sorry for him. On the other, they thought he was a ‘monster’ for ‘breaking Niall Horan’s heart.’ It had gotten to the point where Harry would stay home unless it was absolutely necessary that he had to go out.

Niall was dealing with an entirely different deck of cards. Everyone felt sympathy for him. He was the victim. He had gotten his heart broken, but he was so strong for keeping his head held high and dealing with his pain. No one was angry at him for writing the song. Mostly because it wasn’t necessarily bashing Harry, it was just entailing that he didn’t need to rely on him for everything. Which is what everyone had thought originally. But, he was also living with the guilt of not only writing the song, but also hurting Harry’s feelings with said song. Niall had tried to call Harry numerous times to apologize. He left so many voicemails that he couldn’t leave anymore because Harry’s inbox was full. He had probably sent him over 100 text messages. Harry only responded once, but that was only to tell Niall to “please, just stop.”

After about two months, the media had finally died down. At least a little. Harry and Niall could finally go out in public without someone harassing them. Occasionally someone would ask what happened, but they would only shrug it off.

Harry was starting to think that things were finally looking up. That is, until Niall texted him again. After sending a plethora of apologies, he had finally stopped. Well, that’s what Harry had thought anyway. Can we talk? Is what the message said. Harry didn’t really want to, but he figured that he probably should anyway. He texts Niall back with a time and place to meet. Niall texts back almost instantly with an Ok, I’ll see you then.

Harry thought it’d be best to not meet in public, so he chose the only place he could think of that wouldn’t seem too suspicious. He decided to choose Lou’s house. Lou was both his and Niall’s hair stylist, and he knew she wouldn’t mind. He also knew he couldn’t choose someone with a biased opinion, and she would be there if things got out of hand. He called to ask her beforehand, and she was more than ok with it. Really, she was just hoping that the two knob heads would get their act together and realize how childish they both had been for breaking up in the first place. Harry is already there, when Niall knocks on the front door. He asks Lou to open it; not knowing what would happen if he weren’t sitting down. He needed to stay calm. Niall greets Lou with a hug before taking off his coat and making his way to the living room where Harry is sat on the couch. Niall somewhat smiles to be polite, and Harry returns the gesture. Lou comes into the living room, looking slightly like she’s afraid to leave.

“If you two need anything I’ll be in the kitchen alright?”

Both men nod. She still looks reluctant to leave, but does anyway. Harry looks over at Niall and clears his throat.   
“So, um, do you want to sit?”

Niall shifts his attention back to Harry.   
“I, alright.”

Niall takes a seat on the other end of the couch quickly and looks down at his hands. They sit there in silence for about five minutes before Harry speaks up again.   
“So, what did you want to talk about?”  
Niall looks a tad startled, obviously not expecting Harry to talk first. Again.   
“I, uh, I wanted to say that I was sorry.”  
“You already have.”  
“I know. I just, I wanted to say it in person.”

“Ok.”  
“Harry, I never wanted any of this to happen.”  
“It was expected. We broke up after all.”  
Niall winces a bit.   
“I know. I also wanted to apologize about the song.”  
“Why?”  
“I, I know it hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t care about the song Niall. It didn’t hurt my feelings.”  
He lies.  
“Oh. Well that’s good then. But, why did you ignore me?”  
“We’re not together anymore Niall, we’re not friends either as far as I’m concerned.”  
“Oh. Um, ok then. I, I think I should go now.”  
Niall stands up and makes his way towards the door. He sticks his head in the kitchen to say goodbye to Lou before he opens the front door. Before he leaves he turns back towards Harry.   
“You don’t have to lie Harry. I know it hurt your feelings. I could hear it in your voice. You can pretend that it didn’t, but I know the truth. You never were good at hiding your feelings. I’m still sorry Harry. I really, honestly, never meant to hurt you.”  
Before Harry has the chance to answer, Niall is out the door.

It’s been two months since the break up and Niall hasn’t contacted Harry since the day he was over at Lou’s. Harry hasn’t contacted him either. Unfortunately, the Grammy’s are coming up, and Harry has no choice but to attend. He’d promised that he would present the award for best male pop vocal performance. When Harry agreed, he hadn’t realized Niall’s song about their break up was nominated. He just hopes he doesn’t win. Which sounds incredibly harsh, but, who would want a song that was written about them to win? Even if it was by his ex-boyfriend who he may or may not still be very much in love with. The Grammy’s are in less than a week and he’s having a bit of a fit, if you would. He’s over at Lou’s again. He thought that maybe if he talked about it to someone he might be able to get over the nerves. That’s not the case however. It seems to only be making things worse.

“Lou what am I supposed to do if he wins?!”  
“You give him the award.”  
“No shit Lou.”  
“You asked the dumb question.”  
“It wasn’t dumb.”  
“Yes it was.”  
“So, if he wins I just give him the award and say ‘congrats on winning with the song you wrote about me’?”  
“No, you don’t have to be happy for him Harry, but you need to be an adult about it.”  
“I know that Lou.”  
“Maybe he won’t win. Not that I don’t love him to bits, but maybe you’ll get lucky.”  
“Since when have I ever had luck on my side?”  
“You did date Niall.”  
“Yeah, and you see how well that turned out.”

The Grammy’s are here in no time, and really, Harry should have known they wouldn’t cancel them just because he was afraid he would have to present an award to his ex. Because really, what kind of excuse is that anyway? Harry knew he was being childish about it, but he couldn’t help himself. What if Niall won and embarrassed Harry on stage? Although they are in a room with adults, just like their selves, so he doubts Niall would do anything brash. But, that doesn’t mean the thought doesn’t linger in the back of his mind.

He’s on the red carpet, and he’s just finished congratulating Ed on his nomination, when he sees him. He looks amazing, like always. Harry always did like him in a suit. He’s laughing and smiling with everyone he shakes hands with, and Harry feels like he’s been hit by a fucking truck. He’s always wanted to be the reason behind Niall’s laughter, and his smiles. Seeing someone other than himself making Niall smile, even if they are an interviewer, makes Harry wish he had told Niall he loved him. Maybe then Niall wouldn’t have left, and he could still be the one making him radiate happiness. He notices Niall has finished talking with the person he was being interviewed for and his heading his way. Harry doesn’t have time to make a run for it before Niall reaches him. Niall smiles politely as a greeting. Harry returns the gesture.  
“Good luck.”  
He manages to get out. Niall barely heard it, but he still said it.  
“Thanks.”  
Niall smiles again and Harry nods. He knows the paparazzi are watching their every move, but he’s too busy trying not to freak out to care.

The ceremony has gone well so far, but now Harry is backstage and is about to go on the stage to present. The last presenter and award winner have just gotten offstage and the host announces Harry’s name. He makes his way out on to the stage and tries his hardest not to trip and fall from nerves. He thankfully makes it to the podium without making a complete fool of himself. He mentally pats himself on the back for not tripping, but now he has to speak. He’s good with speaking in front of crowds, usually. He’s performed in front of tens of thousands of people before. But, those were his fans, and he never had to worry about having a breakdown on stage because his ex was a nominee in the category he was presenting. He makes it through the part where he announces what award he’s presenting, and is a bit shaky while calling out the nominees, but he’s ok. He thinks he is anyway. That is, until he opens the envelope containing who’s won, and of course, it had to be Niall. Harry draws in a shaky breath before speaking.

“The Grammy for best male pop vocal performance goes to, Mr. Niall Horan for So What.”

The crowd breaks out into a round of applause as Niall stands up and makes his way to the stage. Harry takes a few deep breaths, hoping no one will notice that he’s actually mentally freaking out right now. Niall has made it to the stage by now and he’s climbed up the few steps and is just now reaching Harry. Niall smiles a little and Harry gingerly hands him his awards before smiling awkwardly and stepping back. He has to wait until Niall has finished his speech to leave because that’s just the way these damn awards shows work. Much to Harry’s dismay. Harry’s still mildly freaking out when Niall begins his acceptance speech, and if he wasn’t nervous before, he definitely is now.

“First, I want to thank my fans for getting me this far in my career. I mean, I’ve just won a Grammy! I also want to thank my family and my friends for supporting me. When I wrote this song, it was just a way to let out my feelings. I honestly didn’t think that it would have done as well as it has. Unfortunately, I sort of regret writing it in the first place.”

He pauses and Harry’s eyes widen. He’s sure the cameras are zooming in on the confused looking face he’s making. Niall looks back at Harry briefly before continuing to speak.

“Like I said before, when I wrote the song, it was a way to express what I was feeling at the time. But, in doing so, I,”

He pauses again and Harry looks even more shocked because Niall has tears in his eyes.

“I, I hurt the only person I’ve ever loved.”

Harry is about to start crying himself because no, he certainly did not see this coming.

“Harry, I know I said it before, but I’m so sorry for hurting you. I should have never written the song in the first place. I’d rather still have you than this. You mean much more to me than an award.”

Niall finishes his speech and almost everyone in the audience has tears in their eyes as well. Niall hurriedly walk off to back stage and Harry has to let everything sink in before he’s rushing after him.

“Niall wait!”

Niall stops in his tracks and turns around to face Harry. His eyes are red and puffy from crying and Harry rushes up to him and engulfs him in a hug. Niall freezes up for a moment before he’s wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and squeezing him as tight as he can.

“Harry, I’m so so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I was just hurt myself and the only way I knew to let out my feelings was through a song.”

Harry pulls back and cups Niall’s face in his hands.

“Did you mean everything you said back there?”

“Of course I did.”

“So, you love me too then?”

Niall answers by pressing his lips to his roughly. That’s enough of an answer for Harry and he kisses him back just a harsh.

And if they hear applause from the audience, they don’t need to know it’s because the cameraman had secretly followed them.


End file.
